New Dream Team: Pippa Middleton and Justin Bieber

This must be the new dream team: The Bieb and The Bum have joined forces to conquer the universe. In a right Royal salute, the Middletons and the Biebers have hooked up their common interests to gain supremacy over the World Wide Web’s tat market.

Justin Bieber undressing trial

To make it clear, The Bieb and The Bum have not been photographed together (yet), but their announcement was as momentous as any Royal betrothal. The Middleton business Party Pieces has been licensed to sell Bieber memorabilia through their homepage. The reaction of the envy crowd was predictable: Pippa is cashing in on her Royal connection. What losers! I mean the envy crowd, not the Middletons or the Biebers.

The advantage of the announced deal are obvious; there will be no official divorce or other news gimmicks in this joining of two internet star names, only cash. The Bieb can be sure to be selling on a web site that will be constantly in the news for decades to come, thanks to the busy bodies who will continue accusing the Middletons of cashing in. For the Middleton business it closes a gap. They had tat on Wills and Kate for mum, Super Mario for dad, Toy Story 3 for the boys, now they have the Bieb for the girls.

And they should live happily ever after, as in any fairy tale, if it weren’t for the permanently envious losers who accuse just about anybody successful enough to cashing in on something or another. I for one hope that they might drown one of these days in their own bile while cheering on the Middletons to every penny they may garner through Party Pieces. If you live in the United Kingdom, you should be doing the same.

As opposed to most of the cheating high street brands, Carole and Michael Middleton pay their taxes in the UK and not in Switzerland (like Boots) or in Monaco (like Tesco). Every penny they earn therefore goes partly to pay taxes, and in case you should have forgotten or belong to the millions too lazy to ever work, taxes paid by many means lower taxes and more money for everybody. Just keep that in mind next time you want to snicker about doors-to-manual.

Real tax payers like Carole and Michael Middleton are the true aristocracy of this country, because they pay their taxes here (and most of the ‘old’ aristocracy do that, too, much to their credit). Its cheaters like Zac Goldsmith who are the runts of the pack, buying their way into the Commons and cheating on the taxes by so called ‘legal’ means. I definitely prefer someone ‘cashing in’ on their Royal connection than cashing in on my taxes.

While The Bieb was estimated of being worth 100 million pounds ($ 160 million), Party Pieces was estimated at a mere 30 million pounds ($ 50 million). The crux of the latter estimate is that it was made after the betrothal announcement of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge but before the Wedding. After Pippa’s bum went viral on that occasion, its worth might now be much nearer to The Bieb.

Further reading
Justin Bieber: 19th Birthday in London
William and Kate: Title History
How Royal Succession Works in the United Kingdom